So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
