The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
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Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
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sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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