well you can't waste a boner
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
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I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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