Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The adults are the big ones right?
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