I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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