No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
