I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
