so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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