I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
