I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
