I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
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he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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