Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He did a backflip because drugs
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