The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
