this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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