id be glad to
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
