I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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