How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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