Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
