I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
