is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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