just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
