just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
