You're my little dorito
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
