You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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