Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
