Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
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