This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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