you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
