I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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