this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
