Having a random hookup so left but love u
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize