theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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