your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
