just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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