i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
