the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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