You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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