We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
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