New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
