my soul wont recognize me after tonight
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
What a dumb baby whore.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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