Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
