so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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