Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
