Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
