His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Sext me about skeletons
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
