I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
