R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I accidentally burped into my bong.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
