HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
