never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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