If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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