i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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