pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
