Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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