I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
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i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
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We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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