it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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