I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
