Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the day after is always just damage control
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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