oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
