exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
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I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
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We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize