So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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