WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
